Agadam Bagadam Terminology-um

THE RELATIONSHIP SYNDROME

Disclaimer- Accuracy of provided data has been tried and tested on close friends and associates of the author. Any case of imprecision is purely unintentional and should be attributed to author’s pure lack of experience in aforementioned field.

Set of definitions mandatory for every starry-eyed tween and adolescent hoping to escape the ‘romantically-challenged’ tag. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine named Wentworth Miller*. In the course of our conversation, he exclaimed over how he found it odd that people used the word ‘proposed’ so often and how he mistook it for the age-old convention of going down on one knee. So what exactly do people mean when they say someone ‘proposed’ to them or when they say they ‘like’ someone. Clarifications, as I know them. Dear Wentworth here, thought ‘asked me out’ would be a nice substitution for ‘proposed’, something I heartily concurred with. But now that I think about it, love terminology should not be played around with.

proposed. v. admitting that sb/sth likes a member of opposite/same sex, as in ‘I like you more than as a friend, so-and-so’
“Mr Darcy* proposed to me”, said Eliza Bennet*. “What? You mean he asked you to marry him???” asked her brother Wentworth*. “No, he said he liked me.” blushed Elizabeth.

ask out v. Asking sb on a date, as in ‘Will you accompany me on a regular basis to a coffee joint or somewhere equally heinous, where we might possibly grope each other and be known to the outside world as a couple?’. Not applicable in conditions where sb only admits that s/he ‘likes’ the other person BUT doesn’t want to actually go out with aforesaid object of affections.
Barbie* said, her cheeks flushed, “Ken* just asked me out.” I gasped, “Like on a date?” Barbie replied, “Um not exactly, but he said he liked me.” I laughed out loud and said, “Well then, you should’ve told me that he said he liked you, not that he asked you out!” Barbie pouted, “Gah! It all means the same! Its sounds better than saying that he ‘proposed’ to me, doesn’t it?”

Okay, I’m not sure if what exactly I wanted to convey comes through the above definitions but do forgive me if you askers-out/proposers/likers actually DO mean something else when you say you asked-out/proposed to/like someone.

Me and my other good friend, Jennifer Love Hewitt* thought of coming up with an entirely new word to substitute 'he said he liked me'. In consideration are 'fraested', 'pliked', 'proliked'. Leave in some suggestions!

WHAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY SAY WHEN SOMEONE/SOMETHING SAYS HE/SHE/IT LIKES YOU-
Hmm, toughie. You could probably blush and paw the floor with your toes. You could maybe tactfully change the topic or if you luckily happen to be at a party and are serving the martinis or something, you can just say, “Oops, gotta keep passing!” (Not that it’s ever happened to anyone I know, but I just thought it would be an interesting way to escape intense embarrassment). In the remote possibility that you like the person in question, you could squeal and jump up and down on the balls of your feet. You could say “Ditto.”(Ooo my favourite! *grins and bats eyelashes* My way of paying homage to Patrick Swayze in ‘Ghost’). Oh yeah and Han Solo! “I know.” is by far the classiest reply someone can come up with!

Now, trust me when I say I’m not condoning the drastic rise of the ‘not-single brigade’ and please, please believe me when I say I’m pro-relationship! It’s nice to have an emotional rock to lean on and blah blah, but yeah, don’t center your life on whomsoever you asked-out/proposed to/like. Lawl.

And if you’re ever in dearth of ideas on what to say, just go “Look, your Worshipfulness, let’s get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person- me.”

So, yeah, Han Solo IS a nice blank-space-in-tête-à-tête filler. And yes, this was the randomest post ever. All I can say is I was inspired, Your Honour! Thanks, Wentworth. And, Jimmy Page Jr.*, Wentworth is NOT boring.

PS- (*)- Names changed to protect privacy. J Yes, all those asterisk mark thingys were to indicate that the names mentioned were not real. Forgive me.

Princess Leia and Han Solo forever. <3